The Selkie finds her Sealskin

 

After nearly 7 years living in Plymouth I have left that city….
I’ve always had a bit of an obsession with mermaids and selkies which is why I chose this picture taken by a lovely friend. This image was a complete fluke but it makes me look like a mermaid on the rocks and it fits with the symbolism of such creatures.
Selkies are seal women, similar to mermaids. They can take off their sealskin to walk on land as humans and they do take humans as partners but at a price. They can only remain on land for 7 years before the sea calls back to them. In Jungian psychology the sealskin represents the wild spirit left behind to experience domestic life. In all honesty I’ve grown tired of the life I’ve had in Plymouth, I’ve felt held back, misunderstood, stifled and restrained from evolving into the woman I want to be- the woman I SHOULD be. I’ve always had a wild spirit, I don’t feel I could ever be “a domestic goddess” or someone subservient to “the way things are”. I’m not very good at “knowing my place”. I take after my mother- strong willed, defiant and at times formidable. Some people in the past have tried to tame me, some have attempted to break that spirit, others told me its wrong to be this way and that being “feral” is not to be considered a good thing?- but I think its one of my greatest strengths- I’ll always be called back to the sea or the wild- meaning I’ll never be caged.
I’ve had some good times whilst living in Plymouth though and I’ve made some wonderful memories and friends who I take with me in my heart. Plymouth in many ways is a nice place but its not for me- I’ve never felt fully settled or happy in this city. So what are my plans?
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For December and January I’m now home with family for some much needed respite to process and heal from things that have happened to me. I’m truly going to enjoy quality time with my Mum, Sister, Nephew Harry and Niece Darcy.
I’m going to look after my Mum too since she is unwell and help her with renovating and decorating her house. You’ll also see more content on my youtube channel, blog and as a social media manager for the Be Woman Project. I’m going to have more free time to make things too and I might even enroll on a self development course of Botanical Illustration purely for enjoyment and as art therapy to calm my anxiety. I have plans to visit my best friend in Liverpool, a couple of friends in Manchester and a relative in Scotland as well.
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By February (all being well) I’m leaving the UK to travel for a bit. My best friend is hopefully coming with me for two weeks to attend a women’s circle training in Bali and then I’m going to go on to attend a 200hour yoga teacher training (if finances allow). You might ask “What are you going to do for money?  Or Work?” Well, I qualified as a classroom and online TEFL English teacher a couple of years ago thanks to a wonderful Uncle who helped fund that qualification so I’m going to teach English online and I’m open to teaching in a classroom too but that depends on visas and work permits but I’m staying open to the possibilities.
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After that I don’t know what’s going to happen, I’m heading out into the unknown. I could end up staying in the Far East for 3, 6, 9 months to a year. I might only stay for those trainings, who knows? I know I need to be in Cyprus for September for a close friends wedding and I’m open to visiting Australia and New Zealand as I have friends in those countries too. I like the idea of being in Bali and Thailand for two to three months, flitting between the two. Perhaps Bali for a three month visa and Thailand for two months? Who knows?
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If/when I come back to the UK I intend on doing my level 3 and 4 in counseling to become a school counselor working with teens and young adults; this also includes group sessions using yoga and mindfulness for adolescents too. And of course finally set up as a freelance yoga teacher and women’s circle facilitator in my local community. If I do come back to the UK, I’d fancy living closer to Liverpool or Bristol, I need to be closer to places where work is available but also offer a bohemian lifestyle.
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This is MY life and I will live it how I want. Mermaids don’t do well inside stone walls. I’ve learned self acceptance and self love and in doing so I am setting myself free.
It is very sad that I have left Plymouth but also very exciting and that’s the beauty of life.

I felt that my time in Plymouth was beginning to stagnate and my 8 year relationship with Jon was sadly breaking apart. We’re still friends and we’ve realized that we are better off as friends as we both want different things. He still has bundles of ambition for his photography and hopes to move to London in the new year, whereas I want a simpler life living a wholesome lifestyle closer to the earth and bringing up my own bohemian family.

After almost 7 years, this Selkie found her sealskin (essentially found herself and truly knows herself) and is ready to dive back into the sea. I’m going my own way.

“Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it’s what’s in the middle that counts. So when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up. And it will.”

Journey with me as I start up my youtube channel again so you get a glimpse into my quirky lifestyle and travels and subscribe to my instagram and this blog to see all the adventures I get up to!

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