I made a short video showing snippets of my two months in Bali. Giving viewers a glimpse of what it was like attending a training with the Be Woman Project, where I lived and some sites I visited. I sadly didn’t get clips from my yoga teacher training as that was very intense.
This time away was not a holiday, it was a pilgrimage. I never got the chance to take a gap year in my early 20’s. So I took the opportunity to allow myself to rediscover who I am when my life in Plymouth collapsed around me back in summer 2018….
My time in Bali began in February 2019 and was life changing, it healed and nourished my spirit and I’m really proud of myself for having the courage to lead such a magical year of self love, adventure and studies. I met such amazing women during my entire stay in Bali who have shown me such love and friendship, I’m so grateful.
This is a time in my life I will never forget and plans are being made to go back.
I want to show my wonderful partner this place and the people and I’d love to teach out there too. Perhaps as a guest teacher on a retreat or facilitate my own training?
Out of all the places in the world I have visited Bali and Cyprus remain my two favourite destinations. Cyprus is like my second home and I really resonate with the Greek Cypriot culture and yet Bali has my heart, it connects to me deeply like a mother healing my inner child.
Ubud, Bali enriched my life so much that it changed me and my outlook on life.
The last couple of months I have felt a collective purge happening. Anyone that is on their journey of “awakening” or slightly conscious of their path has had to go through, or is going through, what I believe is a huge clearing, of sorts. And for those that aren’t in alignment with their truth will be in all sorts of crazy around this time. Emotionally, mentally, physically, things are surfacing to be seen, there is no more escaping from the truth, and things are needing to shift NOW, as this new energy of 2020 comes in. If you want things to change, you don’t want to be carrying this old shit with you into this new cycle. And it’s been strong. It’s been uncomfortable and confronting. Personally, it’s meant shutting myself away and getting quiet, a lot of self-enquiry, a lot of tears, and a lot of physical pain as things shift throughout the layers of my being.
I’ve been honing in and fine tuning every single part of me.
Slowly, gently, becoming more acutely aware of every little emotion, interaction and process.
Layer upon layer stripped away to reveal my truth and what I’m really here to do.
Shifting perspectives, evolving, waking…
Bali gave me a helping hand to change my life, I left as a women’s circle facilitator, yoga teacher and Reiki practitioner. The three women teachers made such a huge impact on me, Sharada taught about the Hindu goddesses, Vedanta and Mantra, Nicole about Yoga philosophy and mysticism, Joanna Lewins about shamanism, energy healing and intuition. All three had one thing in common- they were all quiet teachers, their presence lights up a room, they command space by just being, like the moon’s energetic pull, all three women have this quiet magic about them that pulls you to them. These were the teachers I’ve been waiting for, not just to teach me, but to remind me of my worth, that I can be like them too.
But the memories of Bali are beautiful too. Not once did I experience any negativity, everything flowed like a river. I will forever remember the beautiful memory of my best friend Nic coming home soaking wet but happy to walking through the tropical heat in the rain and stumbling upon a giant lizard. I will remmeber Kadek, my Balinese mama taking me and friends to a waterfall blessing, I’ll remember waking up to Janie sat waiting for me on the balcony with herbal tea brewing. I’ll remember the two lovelt French women, Nic and I stayed with, how we giggled and sang together at night with the crickets and cicadas. I’ll remember the friendly giant black bees and the jungle all around me.
In those moments in Bali, I was in deep surrender to mother universe. Surrendering to myself, to you, to Spirit. What needed to be felt, to be seen, to be heard. I purged so much too, I let go of a lot of emotional baggage in those two months. I’d been hiding who I was for so long. Finding excuses and distractions to be anywhere, to be anything, but this, the woman and teacher I am know on a quest to become. To seek shelter in another, in a place, in a space where I can just speak and be out of my mind. Out of the feeling, the feeling that was so desperately wanting to be felt and that was ready to emerge from the depths of my soul. Ready to clear. No more could I run from the truth. Another layer ready to shed away. Initiation after initiation; through teachers, through ceremony, through life. The unexpected. Illness. The soul so ready to be seen. I see you, she said. I’m fine tuning. I’m accepting all that is, exactly as it is.
I don’t know what’s next and I don’t know what’s coming, but I know that when I let go of control and fear and the need to know it all… I create space. Space for life to show me… and magic happens.
I trust again. I am in full gratitude for the beauty that surrounds me in every moment. I remember to be gentle, to be kind, to be compassionate, to live life fully with a heart wide open. To be loving and to allow, to come back to simplicity again and again…To come back to sacred surrender so that all will unfold and manifest exactly how the universe intended.