This is the practice: Keeping the heart wide open even when the path becomes tremulous and every possibility appears at first glance stormy and unwelcoming. The dead, decaying parts of ourselves must be shed so that we can grow, and this growth takes us deeper into our unknowns. Sometimes growth feels good and other times the process leaves us wrecked and wondering. And this is where belief enters the narrative …. do we trust it or do we doubt ourselves?
There are times I crumble- worry, doubt, have low self worth, my insecure ego tells me tales that are not true.
I’m still the same wounded little girl who was bullied all the way through school and grew up being very misunderstood by even those closest to me.
I’m still the same little girl who talks to trees, wears wildflowers in her hair and will go for long walks in dresses that get covered in mud. I like to make-believe I’m a character from a classic novel so I am judged for being a day dreamer, but its actually one side to my complex personality.
Still sensitive, emotional, loving and gentle as ever and many people over the years have considered it a weakness or a reason to overpower me. But its actually a quiet strength. Like a wildflower, I don’t need to be noisy for attention. I can captivate a room full of people without uttering a word.
I’m older and a little wiser now. It can be hard for me to trust others but I try everyday. It’s challenging to be loved because I never learned how to love myself, I think many of us are taught we are undeserving of love. But all of this to say that I’m a beautiful work in progress, as are you.
I am so proud of where I’m at, who I am today and I’m blessed to have colourful and wonderful people in my life who inspire me every day. This small handful of people have helped me surrender to their love and it is these people who have inspired me to become what I’ve always wanted to be (and destined to be).
With my knowledge of mental health, yoga, art as therapy, ayurveda, herbalism, alternative healing, Tarot reading, dream symbolism, holistic health and much more. I am totally becoming the wise woman who just knows things! My Dharma (life purpose) is that of love and to teach others to believe in the magic again. Learning to love myself and showering others with love too.
Next year I plan to really push myself to be of service to others and continue to grow and learn as a teacher. I feel that I want to become a yoga therapist but more through the Ayurvedic route rather than fitness and physiology. I desire to study more about herbalism and Bach flower remedies in order to incorporate natural remedies with holistic yoga tailored to individuals alongside a full consultation, tarot readings, breath work, mantras, colour therapy, dream analysis, art as therapy, journalling, counseling skills, Reiki, chakra balancing and Crystal healing and much more. I am ready to offer all of this to small groups and in one to one sessions, either in person or online! This is my practice: This is how I keep my heart wide open.
“Knowing love, I will allow all things to come and go, to be as supple as the wind and to take everything that comes with great courage. My heart is as open as the sky.”- Kama Sutra: A tale of love.
om dum durgayei namaha!
om ganesha sharanam, sharanam ganesha!
Photo by Shakti Haze Fae